It Makes Me Sad

Day 6 of the 30 Day Challenge. Let’s talk about our feelings. No, but I am going to talk about a book that poured the feels all over my cold heart. I am one with the fact that I am a monster. So just know, this book is infused with those feels.

Okay, I’m sorry. I’m a liar. I don’t really find things sad like your average person. Because for all the sadness in the books, usually a happy ending will just erase all of the sad for me. Like in Les Miserable (the musical – I haven’t gotten to the book yet). For me, that is one of the happiest endings of all time. Everyone who died finally got to be free. Even with The Fault in Our Stars. Yeah, it’s sad. But then they find what they were looking for and it’s just beautiful. Beauty is always happy, no matter how sad it is, in that it makes me happy. So, rather than explain the hours spent grieving over a lost character or all the countless times when I actually yell at the book in my hands because it’s hurting me with unresolved pain, I’m going to tell you something that is my kind of sadness.

50-anniversary-cover

That’s right. It’s Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird. Okay, maybe the beauty couldn’t full erase the sadness. Because this is the kind of unavoidable and absolute sadness that just kills me. And that is the sadness of something that didn’t have to happen, something that happened to another person who just wanted to be cruel or ignorant. And that really kills me. It really does.

I have the same kind of sadness when reading books like Beloved and Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet. It doesn’t always go hand in hand with racism, those just happened to be the examples that popped into my head. Since racism hits pretty close to home.

I don’t have to tell you that To Kill a Mockingbird is a great book. Because it is. One of my favorites. But just…the thing that happens to Tom Robinson didn’t have to happen. And it’s so terrible, and it didn’t have to happen. Mayella could have had the courage to say something, and maybe she would have if her daddy wasn’t such a waste of life, and if they didn’t live in a society where you could get away with anything as long as you blamed the black guy. And they had so much evidence. The jury knew what happened. They had to. And it took them so long, not because they were debating what was true and what was lie, but because they were debating what was right. And they chose wrong. And that’s sad.

I’m right with Boo Radley on this one. Shutting yourself up away from the mess that is humanity doesn’t seem like such a bad idea sometimes.

It’s when you get into the ‘what ifs’ that make things really sad for me. Because that’s when you can’t do anything about it and you have nothing else to do but dwell on it. And that’s sad.

Terribly sad, actually. I’ve gone and depressed myself.

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3 thoughts on “It Makes Me Sad

    • The beginning of the book is really slow and slightly technical. After you get past that, there’s a lot to it and it’s really quite interesting. For awhile, it kind of seems like kids doing weird stuff and being kids, but a really cool sort of mystery unfolds around it and it’s actually really important to the juicy stuff. The middle chunk to the end was the best. That was the trial through all the stuff with Boo Radley.

  1. Pingback: 30 Day Challenge Archive | A Cavalcade of Literature

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